Home Advice To Protect Your Marriage When Buying, Selling or Renovating a Home!

Major life changes are stressful, even when they are positive and exciting like buying, selling or renovating a home. If you plan on making any of these life altering changes in the near future then read on for some important home advise. Find out how to protect your relationship from common pitfalls that can arise during a stressful time.

During these kinds of life changes, our individual differences can become even more apparent, and there is commonly 4 areas of strife that can arise in relationships when a renovation or home move are imminent (maybe you can name even more!):

1. Quality of Life
2. Uncertainty in Many Arenas
3. Finances
4. Unfinished Projects

Renowned marriage expert Sheri Stritof stated, “A remodeling project requires that the two of you are able to talk about money, hopes, dreams, expectations and dealing with mistakes.” This is no small feat in normal times of life, but add the constant variations that can come even with the most well-laid renovation or moving plans, and we're talking some pretty impressive kindling just waiting to spark alight.

This is not to be dissuading anyone from moving forth with these very exciting changes, of course not! If you and your partner are experiencing communication problems or other unresolved issues, consider not starting a remodeling project right away. Our home advice is this: start a relationship project first!

Here is an extensive list of things you might be very thankful for having considered and discussed with your partner before diving into a life of uncertainty and change:

1. Develop a budget
   • • • Find out how much money is feasible for you to spend, while keeping in mind that leaving room for extra costs that could arise will help with your peace of mind.
2.  Have Realistic Expectations
   • • • Discuss what each of your ideal visions are for the project and find out how that relates to your budget.
3. Discuss how you will make decisions together
   • • • If there is a time that each of you has a different idea or taste, how will you handle it? An agreed-upon third party? Flip a coin? Sorting this out in advance can be a real stress saver.
4. Prepare yourselves for disruptions in your plan and in your daily routine
   • • • Keep a part of your house untouched, clean and quiet for when you need a repose from the whirlwind of changes.
5. Do your research before you spend a dime
   • • • Come up with plans and measurements before making any emotional purchases. You will not regret taking the time you need to be sure that the furniture fits or that the neighbourhood is the right one for you and your family to move into.
6. Be honest with each other about what you "can't live without" as well as your "deal-breakers"
   • • • By knowing what each of you really wants from this change, you will better understand the other person's point of view if/when a conflict arises.
7. Before the renovations or the house hunt even begins, make as many decisions as possible about what you want!
   • • • When over-whelmed with choices and on a time-crunch we can get "decision-fatigue", so by choosing the flooring and paint colours (or how many bedrooms, bathrooms and outdoor space) you want beforehand, you're entering the challenge with the same stride.
8. Let go of the idea of a defined timeline.
   • • • Plans rarely go as planned. Give some space for changes in the schedule or perhaps make the big life change at a time when you're not pressured to be done in a limited span of time.
9. Remember that short-term storage is an option
   • • • If you're renovating or moving, consider getting a short term storage space as an option for belongings that can wait to be used/moved or will hamper ongoing projects if you keep them in the space you are renovating or selling.
10. Take a break when you need to
    • • • Whether it’s a walk around the block or an entire weekend away - absence can truly make the heart grow fonder ... and this doesn't just apply to your partner, maybe get away together when things get too stressful.
11. Do activities that you both enjoy to break the cycle of stress
    • • • Especially things that don't require power tools!

Remember, it might feel as though every conversation you have with your partner at this time is about the move/renovation, and that may be accurate! Recognize that this is just for a little while and life will return to normal. If you can, arrange times when the topic of conversation is off-limits. This will let you attend to your life and relationship which are so very important.

Accept that conflict will happen. Be open to compromise. Take care of each other … and try to have some fun!

When it comes to buying or selling a home in Ucluelet, British Columbia, the Gray Team often find themselves discussing renovations with clients who are buying and/or selling a home. It will be well worth your time and energy to seek the professional opinion of a REALTOR® before buying or selling, especially if renovations are a consideration in the move.

Please feel free to contact us with any questions you may have before you renovate to advise as to value any contemplated improvements will contribute to your market value. If you're planning to sell anytime soon you'll want to avoid renovations that cost more than they add in resale value...as many do!